Kristaps Porzingis is being groped by a giant honey-soaked arm in this Latvian Visa commercial

A commercial for a new Visa card in Latvia has given us one of the most confusing, bizarre, awe-inspiring pieces of video ever to star Kristaps Porzingis. Pour yourself a stiff drink for this one, because you’re going to need it:

It opens with an uncomfortably long arm extending through the clouds and reaching out to us. The arm is covered in an extremely long sleeve, the maker of which we’re never introduced to. Conceivably, it’s from a God-like tailor of unimaginable skill in the arts of tensile strength and textile flexibility:

The arm swims with dolphins and strokes a vintage car before making its way to a very good dog alone in a field:

There are no clouds in this world. Humans have no deign to build in the pupper’s realm. It is alone, waiting to be touched by human hands and is sadly met with a hellish nightmare arm.

While they have been linked to every star player to come along, Ainge has been a discerning shopper at the moment of truth. He was nowhere near the DeMarcus Cousins fire sale and he held off on Jimmy Butler’s draft night trade to the Wolves.

He wanted Paul George, but he wanted to do it on his terms and his timetable. The Pacers said no and we’ll see if that was a wise move or impulsive. For his part, Ainge wasn’t giving up on the Brooklyn pick or the Sauce Castillo Swap (as Ziller has termed it) and he wasn’t giving up their young guys like Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown either.

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